Sunday, September 25, 2011

Smoke and Olives

Today I am linked up with Jenny Matlock's Saturday Centus

As some of you might have read in my profile, I used to write, years and years ago. You probably know the type- editor of my high school paper, editor of the college paper, submitted works for the literary magazine and yearbook, worked for college credit and then was hired by the weekly small town paper writing features and editing the business page. I had thoughts of going into journalism but one thing led to another and I took a different direction.

My blog, especially the early writings, was supposed to be an opportunity to dabble creatively again, since I'm horribly out of practice, but I decided instead to learn some of the skills that we've seemed to have lost over the last fifty years or so. I don't think it will be long before we will need them again. This will continue to be the main theme of the blog but I may post in the challenge now and again so you will see some posts that are out of the ordinary.

Jenny has a weekly writing challenge, it might be lyrics like last week or dialogue like this week, but they always have a twist. A theme, a word count,etc.

Here it is guys - This week's rules:

WORD COUNT - 150 WORDS PLUS THE SIX WORDS OF THE PROMPT.
Total word count not to exceed 156 words.
STYLE OF WRITING - DIALOGUE ONLY
NO PICTURES - PAINT THE STORY WITH YOUR WORDS
THE PROMPT THIS WEEK IS: "Are you seriously ordering another martini?"


“Geez, I’m so tired of these wannabe lounge singers. The guy’s gotta be working for tips.” “Hey darling, bring me another, olives this time.”

“Are you seriously ordering another martini?”

“Sure, why not? Five, six, what’s the difference?”

“Good, I need another myself. Hey, gotta light?”

“Nope, don’t smoke. Those things’ll kill you. Here, use the candle, might as well be good for something, it sure doesn’t light the place up much.”

“Thanks. Crap, the candle went out. Where’s that waitress?”

“She probably can’t see us. The smoke’s bad enough and here you go and snuff out the candle.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“So, what is it with you?” “Why are you wasting your time in this place? You’re a pretty girl, you can do better.”

“I don’t know. Sometimes, I guess, it’s . . . just the way things are.”

“Well, honey, that works for me.”

“Well, glad it works for someone. Oh, here’s the waitress.”

15 comments:

Judie said...

Yikes! What's a pretty girl like you....
Great take on the prompt, Kathy!!! Brava!!!

Ames said...

Pretty good dialogue. Smoke will kill you? What about the alcohol? Six of one, half a dozen of the other!~Ames

beckyp said...

lol where on earth can you smoke in a bar any more? great centus

Candy C. said...

Very awesome! You certainly created a picture in my mind, as if I was there!!

Kathy Felsted Usher said...

LOL!

Ames- I thought of that but the response would have upped my word count. Something sarcastic along the lines of what part of the food pyramid does gin fit in?

Beckyp- You can still smoke in the bars out here. We're rural and the laws haven't made it yet. It is in the next county over so it'll be here at some point. Of course, with some of the bars out this way, and I've never been in them, I don't think I'd ask the gentlemen to extinguish the cigarette!

Thanks, everyone. It's fun if nothing else.

Kathy Felsted Usher said...

Ames- having trouble getting to your post.

Kat said...

This sounded very natural, your dialogue flows really well. I really dislike writing dialogue, you hit the nail on the head with your contribution! Thanks, I enjoyed this a lot.

Viki said...

I thought your centus was great. I could almost hear the conversation as I read.

Dazee Dreamer said...

sounds like a very lively place that crowded smokey place. I giggled when you lit the cigarette with the candle. great job.

Manny said...

Works well. I'm wondering where it will lead. ;)

I enjoy creative writing. I would participate but I'm afraid my blog is not really mine and not oriented toward this. But I'll stop by and read Kathy.

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

I was just going to ask about the smoking in the bar, but I read your comments, and since I'm a smoker, I think I'll move to your area! Good take on the centus. laurie

Kathy Felsted Usher said...

Even in St Louis there are exceptions to the smoking ban. They are trying to make is across the board- not sure why. It seems to me that if I bar wanted to be smoke free, the non smokers would go there and the smokers would go where they allowed smoking. The ones that don't care can go anywhere. Go figure.

Deborah said...

That was great dialogue, could have read more! well done!

Kathy Felsted Usher said...

I'm glad there was a limit on the words, I'm not sure where this was going but I don't think it was anything good! LOL Thanks for visiting.

Kathy Felsted Usher said...

Posted from e-mail

I tried and tried to leave you a comment on your SC dialogue prompt to no avail.

Here's what I wrote the third time...fortunately I thought to copy it so I could send it via e-mail if it rejected again!

Hi Kathy. I think dialogue is one of the hardest things to write. I've been reading all this weeks entries out loud and yours was perfect. There wasn't a single word that felt contrived.

I really enjoyed what you shared here.

Thanks for linking up.